I know its still summer, (*grumble grumble*), but there is something that I feel is necessary to discuss early. The questions is, do you have a really amazing coat for fall?
I don’t just mean any coat. I mean a REALLY. AMAZING. COAT. That you can wear everyday. I’m talking about that coat that has stood by you through everything, your one and only, your apparel soul mate. One that will snuggle with you while you ride public transportation half-asleep, when you’re still not conscious enough to generate body heat. One that you can call YOUR coat, your trademark coat, the one that you would be wearing if someone made a cartoon version of you that wore the same thing everyday. One that you can spill coffee on, and it will still love you and stand by you and survive through the laundry. One that will miss you if you leave it behind one day. One that will gladly take you back next fall when it gets cold again, and won’t resent you for having left it in your closet for so long. One that will always harbor something fun and unexpected in the depths of its pockets; a crinkled five dollar bill, a forgotten tube of lipstick, a box of mints. A coat with a story.
The reason I mention this is because I have not yet found this coat. I have had coats that I thought I had a deep connection with…but in truth these were simply fleeting affairs. Infatuation, but not love. I felt the connection because I needed the coats at the time, like the gray trench with black velour buttons I wore the year I lived in Paris. This coat got me through the glacial winter and happily stored my stash of metro tickets, but where was it two years later? It didn’t grow with me, it remained a thing of the past, a warm friend I had when I was ten years old and cold.
The same goes for my chocolate-colored reversible bomber jacket I took to horse camp, the ridiculously oversized skater hoodie that hid me from the world all the way through puberty, the blue Old Navy jacket I wore when I had my tracksuit obsession (Dear. God.), the heavy leather jacket my friend stole for me in Switzerland.
And so my quest continues, with the hopes that I will not feel a hole in my heart again this fall. Just like with relationships, it is not healthy to simply fall back on something of the past that didn’t work out. I cannot use any of my previous coats as rebounds, nor can I settle for what is easy or steal a coat from a friend.
Sometimes, it is worth being lonely and cold for a while, until something perfect springs out of the fog and surprises you. So tell me, do you have a one and only coat in your life? And do share, was it love at first site?